You Are On The Fastest Available Route
| File:LOCAL58 - You Are On The Fastest Available Route | |||||
| Season | 1 | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Episode | 3 | ||||
| Air date | June 19, 2016 (local58.info) October 31, 2017 (YouTube) | ||||
| Writer | Kris Straub Mikey Neumann | ||||
| Director | Kris Straub | ||||
| Episode guide | |||||
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You Are On The Fastest Available Route is the third uploaded entry in the Local 58 video series and the first uploaded on YouTube. The episode takes the form of dashcam footage that shows an unnamed driver being given increasingly strange instructions by their GPS system.
Synopsis
The episode begins with Local 58's early morning schedule, displaying a Midnight Movie at 12:05 AM and the Paid Programming slot at 1:55 AM. However, the Paid Programming text gets deleted, and dashcam footage begins instead, with the time shown on the footage at its start being 1:57 AM in November 21, 2014.
The video starts out as a long nighttime drive through a city in which the driver is being guided by their GPS system in November 21, 2014. The GPS says that the journey will take over two hours to reach the destination, and throughout the route repeats the phrase “you are on the fastest available route”.
As the footage progresses, the navigation's instructions begin to become bizarre, instructing the driver to drive down a quarry utility road, a service causeway, and then eventually to make a U-turn to head down a road that has been sealed off. By this point, the driver has been travelling for well over four hours.
After proceeding down an unnamed road in the middle of a forest, the navigation instructs the driver to come to a stop and turn off their headlights in 300 ft. The driver does so, and sits in the darkness for some time. Suddenly, a monstrous roar can be heard. The driver quickly flashes his headlights, briefly illuminating a strange humanoid creature of a hybrid of a moose and a human in the distance. The footage then cuts to the driver driving quickly through the forest and trying to escape as the navigation first tells them their destination is behind them before telling them they are rapidly approaching it. Another roar can be heard, and the camera cuts to show the car has crashed. Flames can be seen, and a clear coughing sound can be heard, and the camera is on the ground with the date and time being blurred out, and the broken navigation system poorly speaks "You have arrived" before a final roar is heard. Later, the unnamed driver was also killed by many forest animals, including bears, beavers, squirrels, marmots, rabbits, deers and many animals in the forest.
Trivia
- The dash cam footage that makes up the episode begins at 1:57 AM, implying that it replaced the Paid Programming slot.
- The crash and the camera being upside down suggests that the creature flipped the car over.
- The creature's head looks similar to the second creature from Show For Children.
- The creature that stalks the driver can be briefly seen when they turn back on their headlights the first time it roars, standing directly ahead in the trees.
- There is a theory that this creature could have crash-landed from orbit.
- It is suggested that the creature itself is the destination, and that as the driver approaches his destination as he is driving away the creature is approaching him—suggesting the creature can move extremely fast. However, it is also possible that the road’s shape allowed the creature to catch up to him quickly by cutting him off at a turn due to the GPS specific route.
- There is a Merritt Parkway and North 38th Street in Connecticut, but they are four hours away from each other. Furthermore, both are forty minutes away from Route CN 114 N mentioned in the video (nine hours if the video is referring to West Virginia’s Route 114, the state where Local 58 is broadcasted).
